I don’t know about you, but my twenties were chaos.

I’d work late into the night during the week, get home for some sleep, wake up drowsy, hit the snooze button, get up and race back into work.

Then on the weekend, when I should’ve been catching up on sleep - I’d be out partying, getting the Sunday scaries, only to repeat the same motions the following week.

That was my reality – juggling a high-stakes start to my career and trying to live life to the max on the weekends.

These patterns took a toll on my mind and body. And now that I'm older - I have a much better perspective on what's important and how to live a good life.

If I could go back to that 20-year-old Andy who was just finishing college, I'd love to give him some advice to alter that path. But life doesn’t work that way.

Time moves in one direction, and you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Here are the four things I regret most and wish I’d figured out sooner.

Regret 1: Overthinking it

This hurts me to say. Because it’s about the intersection of vanity and self-worth.

I’m 19 years old and growing increasingly self-conscious about my smile. My teeth are crooked and all I see is my friends' perfect smiles from having had braces in their early teens.

I’m hurting because I know this problem is only going to get worse unless I do something about it. I decide enough is enough and get braces.

Not the nice invisible ones you get today, the gnarly metal ones that make me look like Jaws from James Bond.

I’m 19 years old, and I’m the only person in my social group that has braces.

I’m self-conscious and awkward. I don’t want to open my mouth, so I avoid conversations as much as possible.

People told me I looked calm, reflective and self-assured, to the point of being pompous. And many would often misinterpret my quietness for rudeness or arrogance when secretly inside...

I’m just really insecure and too embarrassed to talk to anyone.

Because inside my own head, the truth was I was overthinking everything.

I felt timid and self-conscious. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, a shame I couldn't share with anyone.

But like most of the time I've had this feeling, it turns out no one cares as much as I do. It's all in my head.

Unfortunately, this shadow of mine saw me hold back from making the most valuable thing we have in life - relationships.

Now that I’m in mid-30s, I’ve got a much clearer sense of this.

I’ve learned to get out of my own head and always keep the gates of friendship open. The success that I’ve found has only been possible through the people around me.

I could have had more open and genuine relationships in my 20s if I wasn’t holding myself back.

This theme comes up a lot in my life, and has opened my eyes to the broader idea of pushing boundaries, which leads to my next regret - avoiding rather than embracing discomfort.

Regret 2: Choosing the Safe & Cozy

At my university, we were encouraged doing a year of exchange.

My friends ventured far and wide, across the world to places like Spain, the US and Brazil, bringing back epic stories of their experiences, learnings and new relationships.

Henry went to Salamanca, Dave went to Paris. When I got the courage to do an exchange year, do you know where I went?

Of all the places I could have chosen to go around the world - I chose London.

Familiar and comfortable. Somewhere I’d feel safe and cozy.

Like Australia, everyone spoke English and loved the Queen. They have meat pies and sausage rolls.

Not choosing a more daring adventure when I had the opportunity is something I look back on and wish I knew better at the time.

Sometimes saying ‘no’ to the safe path and ‘yes’ to welcoming new experiences through the unknown is how we really grow.

When a good mate of mine wanted to travel to Europe after I finished the semester - I course-corrected and jumped on the bandwagon.

While I was learning to step out of my comfort zone. Not only did I have an absolute blast, but I met my wife Lexy, who is now the mother of my children.

We got back to Sydney in our early twenties together and continued the adventure, but something I regret showed up in me during that time.

Regret 3: Wasted Days

You’re meant to have fun in your twenties, and I had a ton of it on weekends.

But like clockwork, the euphoria of the night before was inevitably followed by hazy, sluggish Sundays.

Those mornings were a painful reminder of my choices.

And there is tons of science that shows the long-term impact of such a lifestyle – a toll on mental acuity, physical health, and even emotional stability.

This was a tough lesson for me and I wish I could admit I was better, but it took me into my early thirties to realize the cost of this lifestyle.

The pandemic was coming to an end, and the vibe was coming back to bars, restaurants, and nightlife. After being in my pyjamas for 18 months, I was itching to be part of it.

In parallel (and more importantly), my wife and I had now welcomed our first child into the world.

I failed to really grasp how much more involved I needed to be if I was going to be the dad I wanted to be to my baby girl.

Enjoying post-pandemic nightlife and being dusty from the night before when you have daddy duty from 6am the next morning is not really an option.

I realized my behavior was risking failure at something I cared about, something I promised myself - being a good dad. This was one of those things for me.

It wasn't about being a good dad 6 mornings of the week. It needed to be 7.

I’ve grown out of it now, and most Sunday mornings are filled with adventures at the park.

But the realization for me that I wasted so much valuable time on Sundays made me reflect on other areas where I didn’t give it my all, particularly in my professional life.

Regret 4: Half-Hearted Efforts

There's one night early in my career that really shaped my work ethic.

In high school and college, I was competent, but not exceptional. If you took the bell curve of intelligence, I was probably smack bang in the middle of it.

But what I lacked in intelligence - I made up for with hustle. I was just willing to work hard and go the extra mile on things I really cared about.

That’s my identity and still is today. I love being in the office alone at night, wrestling with a complex project.

Now, there's an unwritten rule I was taught when being a professional - especially as a youngster:

Never leave work before your boss.

But one night, I was at the end of my rope. We must have been on the 10th iteration of some presentation for a client.

I told my wife I'd be home early that night and it was now late into the evening. I finished my piece of work and walked out in frustration, avoiding eye contact with my manager as I left. Leaving him to finish it himself.

The following morning, I had cooled down and when I came into the office, he pulled me aside. Instead of berating me or telling me something I already knew. He just asked - “Are you feeling better?”

That's all he needed to say because we both knew I was better than that.

And, unfortunately, there were a number of times like that when I look back and think - ah man, I could have given a little bit more to the people who will help me grow and learn.

Those half-hearted efforts, they still haunt me a bit today.

They were a disservice to my potential and my identity.

I've carried this forward to the next generation and today I have a handful of playful rules with my young daughters that I learned from a friend.

Daddy’s job is to keep you happy, keep you healthy, and keep you safe. In return,

They need to listen, have fun and always do their best.

I want to support them to avoid making the same mistakes I made.

What I Got Right

Now, if you’ve been following these regrets you are probably thinking - man Andy, don't be so hard on yourself.

Yeah, you’re right. My hardships were minor in the grand context of things. The screw-ups were acceptable.

But the point is not forgetting them without first acknowledging them and using these stumbles to learn and keep getting better. And my twenties weren't just about regrets.

It was a beautiful mess of missteps and triumphs.

I went for a walk with my mom the other day and told her about this video and I asked if she had any regrets. She just stopped and looked straight at me and said…

“Andy, there's no regrets. Only Reflections.”

Each of these reflections, each decision, has been a stepping stone, guiding and shaping the path I’m on today.

I took risks, worked hard, built friendships, invested wisely, explored the world and moved to the US.

They say the 20s are the hardest decade of your life because you're out there on your own, expected to be an adult and making decisions for yourself when you are really just winging it.

But the truth is, everyone’s winging it.

We need to get out there, make mistakes, get some scars, learn and grow. For me, a major turning point was when I left Australia.

I didn't realize it at the time, but this was the start of a massive chapter in my life of being overseas for 10 years.

It wasn't even a chapter. It was more like a quest to find myself and figure out some of the right philosophies and systems that have helped me build a life.

I wrote another article on my journey of leaving Australia which you can check out here.